We have been spent the last two days just finishing up things here in Austin.
Patty has been here "batting clean up", as she refers to it. She's here helping us to finish the final leg of this race. We've needed to run a few last minute errands, we've been cleaning out the fridge and the pantry, straightening the house, packing, and just helping Graysen prepare to go home.
Graysen has continued to struggle with fatigue and with sickness. The eating is not quite on track yet and she is still battling head and tummy aches. It's just gonna take a while for it all to come together.
And we knew that.
We have continued our walking regimen when Graysen felt well enough - just like the good doctor ordered. The walking actually helps Graysen to feel a little better, as well as making her stronger. I think just the moving around and getting out in the fresh air is really good for her. It seems to help her physically, as well as to boost her spirits when she's tired or feeling ill.
You guys continue to be the best support system in the world. Since the day of surgery, not one day has passed that Graysen has not received something from one of you. Even yesterday, she received a fruit bouquet! It has been amazing. Truly. We can never thank you enough or repay the gratitude we feel for loving us so well through every single step of this journey. You have blessed us beyond words.
Today we had a sweet surprise when our friend, Jodi Canfield and her aunt stopped in to visit! Jodi is spending the summer in Austin and we were so excited to get to see her here:)
So, tomorrow is the big day.
It's almost hard to believe that we get to come home tomorrow and see our people! We are so ready and excited.
This has been a journey we will never forget. That I promise you. I feel like I have lived a year in the last four weeks.
It has been everything. Detailed. Complicated. Overwhelming. Hard. Scary. Emotional. Painful. Sad. Demanding. Exhausting. Successful. Good. Exciting. Blessed.
I think I have felt every emotion that you can possibly feel. And I have felt them in big ways. And Graysen certainly has too.
Graysen has done this. She did everything she knew how to prepare herself for this. She has pushed herself and has worked hard. She has struggled and some days have really been terrible. But some days have been really good. And she is moving in the right direction. She has made it through the worst part of the pain and now she has to be patient and wait for healing.
Waiting. Patience. Healing.
All good things. Maybe hard. Maybe frustrating. Maybe not so exciting. But good. And necessary.
So, this is it - it's all said and done here. It's time to go home and for Graysen to continue to get better one day at a time.
We are ready!
See you soon:)
"For You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand - when I awake, I am still with you."
Psam 139: 13-18
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish it's work so that you amy be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1: 2-4
"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you."
Philippians 1:3
Fruit Bouquet:)
Graysen and Patty
Patty and I take our job of protecting Graysen very seriously! Crossing the street can be very dangerous....
Our last night in Austin. Despite the circumstances, I have treasured having time with my sweet Graysen:)
Graysen has been a little busy the last few weeks. She discovered our cute little backyard for the first time tonight!
Bye-bye, Austin! It's been real.
Patty interviews Graysen
Thank you, again, for being such an important and wonderful part of our journey. You have blessed us again and again. We will continue to keep you updated as Graysen's BackStory continues. Our love to you all:)
P.S. Lots of people have asked us specific questions about Spinal Fusion surgery, what that entails, the hardware used, etc. I took these photos of a model at Dr. Geck's office, showing an example of the hardware used for this surgery. The photos show what would be a two-level correction - two vertebrae being involved. Graysen's surgery ended up being a five-level correction. Looking back at her "after" x-ray, you can see that she has five screws on each side, holding the two steel rods. I hope this helps with understanding the actual surgical aspect of this experience.
I'm a check-lister. I make lists for everything. I write them on pieces of paper at my house, in my car, and for the other people I live with. I make lists on my phone to carry with me. Everything is a list for me. Groceries. Target. Projects. People to call. Appointments to make. Christmas lists. Things to do this week. Things to do today. Things that need repaired or replaced. Things to remember to ask Tim about. Everything is put somewhere on a list. I say it's because I have a terrible memory - and that is true. My family might say it's because I am OCD and uptight - and you should just ignore them. But, I do live by my lists.
This surgery. Talk about a list. It had it's own category - with sublists. So much went into this. The appointments, the decisions, the planning, the details. It was a biggie. Huge, in fact. And I feel like it took a village to make it happen.
It's hard to believe that we are here. We are getting very, very close to the finish line. The end of this journey here in Austin. Only a few days left and we get to come home.
After all that went into this - all the lists and all the checking things off, it's hard to imagine that we are almost at the end.
Today we went to see Dr. Geck for Graysen's three-week follow up appointment. We were so excited to see McSwaggy, to find out the final results of the surgery, and to get "released" to go home!
It was all good news.
The incision looks great. The x-ray looks great. Graysen's surgery and recovery couldn't have had better results.
New x-rays were taken today and we found out that Graysen's curve went from forty-six degrees to six degrees. That's a forty degree improvement!
A six degree curve. Less than ten. Barely even more than five. Six.
Have I mentioned that Dr. Geck is kinda awesome at what he does...
It's better than we ever expected. It's far better than we expected when Graysen chose to stop at L3.
It's incredible. It's such an answer to prayer.
The prayers. I will say it again - the prayers made all the difference. And I will say it again - thank you.
Graysen continues to get a little better each day. She's walking better, moving better, and even eating. She's looking forward to finishing things here and heading home. She's looking forward to seeing all the people who have loved her so well through this journey.
Our wonderful friend, Patty, comes tomorrow to help us wrap up everything in Austin and to help me get Graysen back home.
It's all good:)
P.S. Graysen is a check-lister too!
McSwaggy
Six Degrees
Happy Girl!
"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen."
I got a text from my friend, Leanne Morgan, Friday morning letting me know that she was in Austin and that she had shows on Friday and Saturday nights. She wanted to check on Graysen and offered tickets for us to see her show. We were thrilled! If you don't know who Leanne is, you are missing out. She is a comedian and is just hilarious.
So, off we went to Cap City to see Leanne. In our minivan. With Graysen's pillows in tow.
Leanne did not disappoint, she had us cracking up the whole time. They say laughter is the perfect medicine for many ailments. It was the perfect medicine for my recovering girl. Thank you, Leanne!
Sunday morning brought a changing of the guards.
We said good-bye to our dear Katelyn. I forgot to mention that Saturday afternoon she made her yummy sugar scrub and essential oil lotion for us and left them as gifts for us! Ahhhhh...
We said our good-byes to Kate and right behind her came a whole new crew!
Christina, Maggie, Lindsay, and Sara flew down to spend four days with us. Graysen was thrilled, to say the least. These are four of the nearest, dearest, most cherished people in Graysen's life. They have lived life deeply together. Laughed together. Cried together. Studied together. Prayed together.
Graysen, Maggie, Christina. GMC. That's what we've called them for as long as can remember knowing them.
They are true friends. They are the "drop everything, one of us is crying, so the other two immediately show up" kinda friends. They are the "can't stop laughing over some stupid inside joke" kinda friends. They are the "look across the room and know exactly what you're thinking" kinda friends. They are the "sing every word at the top of our voices and including hand motions" to High School Musical kinda friends. Yes, even now. Yes, I am serious.
They are the "fly down to Texas because our best friend had back surgery and needs us" kinda friends.
The first day they got here we had some funny moments. They weren't supposed to be funny. But, they were.
When they finally got to the house and got settled, it was time for Graysen's first walk of the day.
So, off we went.
We asked Lindsay if she didn't want to leave her blazer off. It is Texas. And summer. It's pretty hot here.
She told us no, that she would be fine. Okay.
So, we started walking. Down the street to the stop sign. You remember? Turn the corner, up the street, around the cul-de-sac, on up to the school, past the school to the intersection.
Okay, this is about the time that Lindsay realizes that Graysen has advanced past walking to the stop sign. She decides that the blazer wasn't such a good idea, nor were her sandals. She told us she was totally misinformed about the nature of this walk. We did feel bad for her, but it was hard not to chuckle a little.
Well, we got to the point where we normally turn around and I had the (not so) brilliant idea that if we just went to the next corner and turned left it would make a square and we would be right back home.
And that was true, but it was much further than I thought. Emphasis on much.
I felt like the worst person ever by the time we FINALLY got back home. It was way too much walking for Graysen. And it was way too hot for all of us.
So, we counted that as the walking for the whole day. We were done.
The last two days have been just fun. We have cooked, watched TV, shopped a little, eaten at Kerbey Lane (of course!), laughed, and just talked, and talked, and talked.
Graysen continues to receive sweet notes and cards every day. We have decorated the mirror in her bedroom with the cards, letters, and drawings she has gotten.
Graysen continues to get better each day. She is sleeping better, moving better, staying awake and interacting more and is a eating just a little bit too.
Graysen wears a t-shirt frequently that says, "Love is a Verb." Isn't that the truth.
Letters, cards, gifts, food, texts, messages on Facebook, a thoughtful comedian, family and friends who fly half-way across the country.
This is what love is.
Making lotion and sugar scrub
Going to the show!
Bringing the pillows
Love letters:)
GMC
Kerbey Lane!
THE WALK
"So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
These past two days have been filled with so many good things and only one bad thing.
The turn around. Crossing the bridge. The flip side.
Whatever term you want to use, which means change, progress, moving forward. Looking ahead and not looking back. That's where we are. That's where you can find us today.
It's a happy day. And I am so beyond happy to say that. I have been looking forward to days like today. There were days when I couldn't see them - couldn't imagine we would get here, especially this quickly.
But, then this is Graysen we are talking about.
I am so excited to see Graysen doing so well and making so much progress that I can hardly stand myself. I have so much going through my head to tell you that I can't wait to get the words written down.
Yesterday was good. Katelyn brought with her a boost for Graysen. She is someone whom Graysen is very comfortable around. These two, although seven years apart in age and living four hours away, have grown up together. We have spent many, many vacations with her family and love hanging out just catching up. We spent hours yesterday looking through Kate's wedding pictures - reminiscing about every little moment of that week.
Then...we took our first mile-long walk! Can you believe it?! Graysen walked an entire mile and did great! We were so excited for her and had planned to walk again in the evening.
Okay, the evening. That was a different story.
We decided to go out for sushi. Graysen decided she up for a short "outing", and so off we headed to the sushi place McSwaggy said was his favorite.
It was about five an a half miles away. Car rides are the worst for Graysen. She feels every little bump in the road. Stop and go is hard. Even packed into the car with pillows, it's difficult at best. But five and a half miles? She felt like she could handle it.
Well, those five and a half miles equalled to a thity-five minute car ride. At rush-hour. Downtown Austin. I lost count of how many cars honked at me because I was apparently driving entirely too slowly to keep them happy. Well! How rude!!! First of all, I hate honking. It's one of my pet peeves - just ask Tim - he thinks it's quite amusing how irritated I get with people who honk.
Just for the record, you should only honk if someone is in danger. That is my opinion. So, there you have it.
Anyway, we FINALLY got to the sushi place. It was packed. Ugh. We were told it was an hour and forty-five minute wait. Big ugh.
Graysen looked miserable at this point. So, we turned around and drove the thirty-five minutes home. All the while being honked at. Again. Kate and I decided that we were really dumb not to have realized that it was Friday night at 6:30. In our defense, it's easy to lose track of what day of the week it is when you're in one of these situations....
We decided to refer to that whole experience as our Friday the 13th horrible, terrible car ride.
We ate frozen pizza for dinner.
But today!!! Today has been all good!!! Nothing but good!!!
Graysen slept until noon. That's good. She needs sleep to heal.
She got up and ate a bowl of rice chex and some apple slices. That's so good. She needs to eat to heal.
We went for our first walk of the day. We walked 1.1 miles! That's really good. She needs to walk to heal.
This afternoon we lounged around, reading, dorm shopping online, playing games. It was good. She needs to relax to heal.
In the late afternoon, we went for our second walk. I called it a walk to remember because today I started seeing the Graysen I remember. The Graysen I know. My sweet girl is starting to be herself again.
She came up behind me in the kitchen and wrapped her arms around me. Something she used to do often, but hasn't in a while. She reached for my hand while we were walking. (It's usually Momma Bear reaching for her hand in the ever-so-protective mode). She sang along with the music on the radio. She wrote thank you notes and drank a caramel macchiato from Starbucks. She wore her high pony-tail and her chacos. She was determined to walk at least a mile on each of our walks. She was happy. She was herself. She was the Graysen I remember. The one that I know.
I told Graysen while we were walking that I am so happy and relieved I am seeing her being herself again.
For the past several months Graysen hasn't really been herself. She's been stressed. Worried. Afraid. Focused. And even though this girl has been full of faith while facing such a huge, daunting mountain to climb - she is just an eighteen-year girl. She can only be so strong.
And she was strong, but that doesn't mean her emotions weren't all over the place. Her way of coping was to turn to God and to pull in. She has always been the one to reach out to others, to write the sweet notes, to give the hugs, to hold our hands and pat our backs. She is thoughtful and kind and inclusive. She is a giver and always gives way more than she takes.
And not that she hasn't been those things, but I have seen a change. She didn't touch as much or leave notes as often. She spent more time in her room. In bed. Lying on her heating pad. She wasn't as talkative or as excited about things. The one exception to this new Graysen was when she declared "Summer in a Week" and started checking off her bucket list with passion. But still - there was a difference in her.
She was focused. She had her game face on. In the zone. Preparing herself to tackle this thing. Ready for a battle. An uphill one. She was getting herself zeroed in on all that she had to face and overcome over the next few months. She was dealing with her emotions and her fears and her anxiety and her pain.
She pulled in and she pulled away in a lot of ways. She told me that she felt like God had called her to depend on Him through this and not on others. He was enough. He would be the one to hold her hand and to get her through. And to heal her. He is who she turned to.
It was really something.
And He has blessed her for trusting Him in such a big way and so whole-heartedly. I could not begin to count how many people are praying for Graysen. All the family and friends and friends-of-friends who have prayed her through this. The love and support has been astounding really.
Again, more cards and gifts arrived in the mail today.
Graysen received a beautiful letter from a friend she went to high school with, who is now a student at Lipscomb University where she will attend this fall. This is a friend that she met while they both attended Maryville High, and she has rarely been in touch with him since he graduated over a year ago.
But this letter! To think that he would take the time to write to Graysen and mail it here to Texas and to give her such encouragement and support. It is very humbling.
His letter started out like this:
"Graysen, You are loved by the Onetrue King! God is walking behind you, next to, in front of and through you, Graysen!"
This amazing opening to a letter was followed by three paragraphs of encouragement, support, and scripture.
The letter ended with this:
"You are in my prayers each day, as well as the prayers of 39 LU students and faculty that you will hopefully meet soon!"
The prayers. They are the true gift.
Let me just take this moment to say this. If you know me or my daughter or my family then you know that we are flawed. We have many faults and shortcomings. I think this blog has brought out the best in me, because I know that I am not always nice, humble, or grateful in person. In my heart I am all of those things, which is the part you know through this blog. But when the day-to-day frustrations, hurts, annoyances, and burdens are in my face, I don't always handle them with grace. I have a temper and I have strong opinions. I am grumpy and curt. I am tender-hearted and get my feelings hurt easily. I hold grudges and have trouble letting go of hurts. I am impatient and fearful. I have lots of fears and anxiety and hang-ups.
My children and my husband they have their shortcomings too. If you know them, then you probably know very well what they are.
But, just like Graysen's friend Addison told her - I am the daughter of the One True King - just like my daughters are.
And my husband and son- they are sons in that same Kingdom.
And that makes all the difference.
I say all of that to say this.
Graysen wrote something so precious in her journal a few days ago. Something that wasn't really meant for my eyes or for yours, but I read it anyway, and now I share it with you.
Her words June 5, 2014:
"Exactly one week after surgery. One of the most difficult weeks of my life. Emotionally, I was spent. Physically, I was useless. But spiritually, I was strong. I know I was surrounded by a family of believers that were sending up countless prayers on my behalf. I knew that back in Maryville, TN I had an army of prayer warriors that had my back too. And I know I was ready. God had prepared me for this battle. For the pain and exhaustion and frustration and dependence and weakness. I know that through HIM ALONE I am strong even when I am at my weakest. 2 Timothy 4:17 has been my anthem through this all. 'But the Lord stood with me and He gave me strength'. But it's the line after that I had never noticed, 'so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed; and all the Gentiles might hear it'. NOW that is my prayer. That though I am facing pain and weakness, God is with me and has made me brave and strong and courageous so that through me the message would be proclaimed.
I would go through this a million times if it meant one person found Christ through my journey. Or if one person renewed their relationship with the Lord of the Universe.
I pray that through me, You would be lifted higher. That through me (in some small way) I could further your Kingdom."
I share her heart and words with you.
If you don't know this One True King that we speak of, then our prayer is that you will seek Him and find Him. If you have, somewhere along the way, gotten away from Him, then our prayer is that you will renew your commitment to Him. He is truly the way, the truth, and the life.
My daughter knows that. I know that. And I hope you do, too.
"Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life".
John 8:12
We had to send Tim home and we didn't want to. It was sad for Graysen for her Daddy to leave. It was sad for me too. There's just a certain security Graysen has with her Daddy that she doesn't have when he's not close by.
It's sweet really.
But, it was time for him to go home and take care of things on that end. Back to reality. Back to our other two children, who were home alone or with family or with friends (Thank you to all of you who loved on our kids while we've been here!). I told Graysen it probably wasn't fair for her to keep all the parents to herself. Tim needed to get back home. Back to our real life.
Today is a happy day.
It's a day of celebration. Today is the two-week mark of Graysen's surgery. Two weeks! I can't believe it. We have climbed quite the mountain during those fourteen days. We saw some really, really hard days, we saw a young lady who is tough and fights and keeps pushing herself. We had sleepless nights, and we had long, much-needed naps. We saw Graysen cling to her faith and never, ever be anything but sweet and grateful throughout the whole ordeal.
This last week has been the turn-around. She is sitting up more, standing up more, taking walks, and even starting to eat again! (thank-you for all the prayers about that last one!) She is sleeping well and her incision heals a little more each day. She had basically no complications from the surgery, other than some upset stomach. No issues with movement, no infection, no set-backs.
And her back is straight.
We prayed. She prayed. You prayed.
Prayers were answered. In every little way. We are blessed. We are truly, deeply thankful.
Graysen continues to receive cards, packages, treats, and flowers on a daily basis. The best part of her day is when the mail comes. She looks forward to it everyday.
I will say it again, we have the best family and friends in the world.
And speaking of sweet friends, our dear friend, Katelyn Meyer flew down to us today from Cincinnati. You will remember Katelyn from early in the blog. The wedding where Graysen sang in Hawaii. That was Katelyn's wedding.
She is here for three days to help us with this part of the journey. She came bearing gifts and jumped right in helping in every way she could.
The three of us took our longest walk yet tonight. We walked about 3/4 of a mile! Graysen and I had walked a similar distance this morning. This girl is determined. Have I mentioned that? She is making great leaps and bounds each day. She had one bad bout with sickness today, but we are working on getting that all figured out - balancing the meds and food, and the timing of all that together. But she didn't let it get her down. She just kept pushing. Moving forward.
Tonight, it's storming and Graysen and Katelyn are piled up in her bed, laughing as they watch episodes of "Friends".
So, for the remainder of our time in Texas, it's going to be a girl's world.
It's gonna be good:)
Saying bye to Daddy
Two weeks today!
Graysen and Katelyn hanging out
Eating a little bit of supper:)
"Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you will receive them, and you will have them".
Today is a big day. Time to start a very important countdown for Graysen.
She moves into her dorm two months from today. August 10, 2014.
It's gonna be a real challenge to be ready. We have a lot of ground to cover between now and then. It's hard to believe that it's only two months away. It seems a little daunting to think about at this point.
The last few days have been days of improvement, though. Small steps, a little bit of ground made each day, little improvements, a little bit better each day. That's the trail we are taking: little by little.
When Colton was a "little" boy, his favorite song was an Alan Jackson song, called "Little Bitty". We just sang our hearts out to that song over and over in the car. He loved it because he considered himself to be little bitty, so he felt like he fit right in with the heart behind that song.
Right now, I feel like we fit right into the heart of that song too. Little Bitty. We will keep taking little bitty steps, improvements, and accomplishments until we cross that finish line.
But we will get there.
Graysen will move into that dorm room on August 10.
She will be stronger and more sure-footed, and tough. And grateful.
I will cry my eyes out as we drive away and leave her there. Partly because I am going to miss her every single day that she doesn't live with me. And, mostly because I am going to be so, so happy for my girl:)
Graysen is a girl with big faith, big drive, and big ambition. She's got stuff to do and she's gonna get there. And there will be no one happier for her than me.
Yesterday we took Graysen on her first big adventure out of the house since coming home from the hospital. We packed her in the car with lots cushy pillows, and we did one of her favorite things and went shopping! It was a very pretty day and we had a good time, just feeling like we were part of the outside world again. Graysen did really well and even ate a bite or two of pizza (which is a big accomplishment these days!).
Graysen was totally exhausted when we got back and went straight to bed, but she was glad we went:)
Today we said bye to Peyton as she headed back home:( It's hard having our little family all spread out.
Graysen was pretty tired from our big day yesterday, so she slept most of the day.
Tonight we ventured out again.
We ate a yummy dinner at Pappasito's and then did a little grocery shopping. Always finding the bright side of things, Graysen made the best of grocery shopping by using one the electric carts! She was quite tickled with herself and Tim and I found her to be very amusing!
The countdown is on and Graysen is gonna get there little by little:)
"The valleys will be filled, and the mountains and hills made level. The crooked will become straight, and the rough places will be made smooth." Luke 3:5
