While we were in Texas I had a single focus. One responsibility. Graysen.
She was it for me. She was what I thought about pretty much every minute of every day - getting her through all that she had to go through was my one and only goal.
Coming home was a different story. We have a full, busy life here and I no longer had the luxury of being single-minded anymore. Graysen's recovery was off to a good start, but far from over. We had some pretty good days and some really rough ones. Sickness just wouldn't leave her alone and it took a while to get that ship turned in the right direction. In addition, I have two other children who needed some Momma attention, a husband, a household, friends, family, and two very spoiled dogs.
I couldn't quite find the time for writing. Or the energy. Or the inspiration. My tank was running on low.
Colton just had a birthday and his grandmother sent him some "word" books. 100 Words Every High School Graduate Should Know. 100 Words to Make You Sound Smart. I've had a good time "quizzing" the kids to see how many of the words the kids actually know! As I looked over the lists, it really made me start to think about words.
It is often said that words are power. They matter. They have impact. They can comfort, discipline, encourage, discourage, cause excitement or disappoint. There are words of love, hate, and everything in-between. They can give insight and understanding. They are the way we reveal our hearts and explain our thoughts. Words really are important.
Writing out my words for Graysen's Backstory was important.
It was important for me because it helped me to process all that I was feeling and thinking. It was important for you because it kept you updated and informed. It was important for Graysen because she will have it to look back on someday and read details about days that she can't remember.
But most of all, it was important because it created a team of prayer warriors that carried us all through this journey every step of the way. Words spoken in prayer, for my child, for our family, and for healing, for recovery, and for restoration. Beautiful words.
Words that were answered overly and abundantly.
For that I will always and forever be humbled and grateful.
And now let me share with you some words that sit in my heart and dwell in my mind.
Thankful.
I am so thankful that Graysen is where she is today. Surgery is behind her. It's done and it was hugely successful. She no longer lives with chronic, daily pain. She has a straight back and is getting better everyday.
Relief.
There's an old saying that "the dreading is worse than the doing", and although the doing was really, really difficult in this case - I am so glad to have the dreading behind us. The worry, the fear, the anxiety, the "what-ifs", the terrible sickness and sleepless nights, the exhaustion, the pain - that awful pain. Those are in the past. She did it.
Strength.
Graysen went into this strong and she will finish stronger than ever. She's the strongest person I know.
Grace.
"Unmerited gift of God". The root word of Graysen's name. And boy, does she live it. Always thinking of others, kind and gracious to everyone who cared for her, sad and frustrated that she needed help - instead of being the one to help. Thanking constantly. Seeking God at every turn. Growing in her faith. Living out her testimony as she walked this journey.
Love.
Love is tested through trial. We have felt the love of the Father, the love of our precious family who we can ALWAYS count on, the best friends in the whole world, and all this incredible blog love, which we never even imagined! We have felt loved and supported every step of the way.
Excitement.
Graysen is getting ready to start a whole new chapter in her life. We take her to college this Saturday. (So, if you see me and I randomly break down in tears, or I'm eating a large amount of chocolate - you'll know why.) Graysen is SO excited and, although I will miss her every single day, we are excited for her. She goes with her new straight, steel-enforced back to take on a whole new set of challenges and experiences! Superman is called the man-of-steel, so I refer to Graysen as Supergirl - the girl of steel. She's strong and ready.
And she really is Super;)
Okay, now that I am finished bragging about my girl (thank you for indulging me on that), I have a big surprise for you.
Stay tuned for the upcoming blog post.
It's from Graysen.
"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of His glory He may grant you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith - that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."
Ephesians 3:14-21
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