The Girl with the Crooked Back


March 2013.

Graysen and I finally go in for a scoliosis assessment with a pediatric orthopedic surgeon in Knoxville.  Truthfully, I had grown quite apprehensive about what we would find out that day.  On the one hand, I thought he would most likely tell us that she did have what Peyton has, and that it would stop progressing when she had finished growing.  On the other hand, I could see the difference in how her back looked compared to Peyton's.  The difference was significant and seemed to be getting worse.  So I prayed about the appointment, the news we would get, and that Graysen would not be a candidate for any type of intervention.  The only problem with that, though, was that she was in pain.  So how would that be resolved?

To say that we were shocked by the news we got that day would be an understatement.  Graysen had a back X-ray when we got there and then we waited for the doctor.  I was expecting him to tell us that Graysen had about a 25 degree curve in her back and that we would keep an eye on the progression.

That is not what happened.

Here is where mother guilt could take me and drown me.  His first question was why she was 17 years old and he was seeing her for the first time.  Well, no one had ever referred us to have it assessed.  We knew it was there, but as you know, there were reasons why we hadn't addressed what we were seeing.  What I did know was that while we were trying to figure out why she was so sick in 2012 and we were focused on that aspect of her health, her crooked back had gotten significantly worse.  It was obvious.

Thirty-nine degrees.  He said, "Do you want to know what her curve is?  It's 39 degrees.  We do surgery at 40".  I was stunned.  Graysen was stunned.  I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and I fought them because I didn't want Graysen to be scared.  I was terrified.  I remember asking a lot of questions.  Questions about life with rods in your back, flexibility, can she do this and can she do that?, what about carrying a baby someday?  So many things flooded my mind.  He was kind and caring and patient as we tried to process all that we were being told.  A lot about our conversation that day is a blur to me, but in the end, he told us to come back in six months to have her curve re-measured.  We would see where she was at that point and talk about options.

We went home and started praying that her spine would stabilize, that her curve would not progress, and that she would not be a candidate for surgery.

              "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer".    Romans 12:12