Let me tell you about my girl, Gray

Graysen Caroline McConnell

The girl with the crooked back is my daughter.  My second daughter.  She has a big sister, Peyton, and a little brother, Colton.  She's the middle child. She's the peacemaker in the family and beautiful and smart and complex.  She has faith that is deep and wide and real. You have read about her trials and what she has to face, but I want to say a little more about my sweet girl.

If you don't already know Graysen, then please allow me a moment to share with you one of my favorite people on earth.

Graysen is busy.  She likes it that way.  She has a lot of energy and huge ambition - and the exact right frame of mind.   She just graduated high school and will be a freshman at Lipscomb University in Nashville, Tennessee in the fall.  She can't wait!  She cheered in high school and had hoped to cheer at Lipscomb, but as we all know, that is not going to happen.  So instead of being all down-and-out about that, she's looking forward to all the other possibilities for her.  She's looking for God's direction -  for where He wants her to invest and what to put her energy into, and for new friends He  wants her to learn to love.

She's ready.

Graysen is a sweetheart.  She has always been loving.  She came into the world that way.  She's happy.  She's up way more than she's down.  She's smiling and pleasant and giving.  Even when she's in pain.  She doesn't complain.  Most people are shocked to find out all that Graysen has been going through because she seems so "normal" and she seems happy.  Well, she is happy and I am so amazed by how well she handles all that she has.

Graysen is somewhat of a puzzle, though, I think.  She is extremely outgoing, friendly, confident, and adventurous.  But, ever so private when it comes to things that are personal.  She's guarded with her thoughts and feelings.  She hides that she's in pain and she continually puts a positive spin on hard things and hard people. She gives second chances - more than once.  She forgives easily and moves on.  She makes friends and keeps them.  She laughs easily and often, and she leaves the sweetest notes for me all around the house for no reason at all.

I love that.  It's one of my favorite things.

She's bright.  So bright.  In so many ways.

I have a very close friend, Vallie, who's hubby loves to put nicknames on people.  He calls me "junky" or "junk mama" (lovely, huh?!).   She has told me to take it as a compliment because he only gives nicknames to the people he really likes.  Well, Graysen seems to be someone who people just naturally end up nick-naming.  I'm gonna assume that's a good thing and that people really like her!


When Graysen was born her daddy started calling her "Peanut".  I'm not sure why exactly, especially since he had chosen her name in the first place.  It stuck, and he still calls her that.  She recently saw a necklace with a peanut charm and told me she wanted it.  I couldn't figure out why.  She said, "Because that's what Daddy calls me!  I'm Peanut!".  Oh, yeah.  Of course:)

By the time Graysen was big enough to start talking, but small enough to still be sleeping in her crib, she had already figured out the baby monitor.  She realized that if she crawled to the end of her bed and spoke into the little white box, someone would come get her.  She would wake up, crawl down, and start announcing, "I awake! Ho me, ho me, ho me!"  That is translated - "Hold me, Hold me, Hold me!".  My Nana thought that was so adorable and she lovingly referred to Graysen as "Homie".  (Nana was way ahead of her time!).  Recently, we were shopping and saw a t-shirt that said Homie on it.  Of course, Graysen had to have it - that was Nana's nickname for her!

I call her GrayGray, Graycie, Graycie girl.  Peyton calls her "Sissy" and Colton called her "Dracie" when he was little.  He cried his heart out when his "Dracie" left him and went to kindergarten.  He would run across the hall to her room when he woke up and call for her, just to end up broken-hearted that she wasn't there.  He calls her "Gray" on most days now.  So do most of us.  Her friends have all kinds of plays on her name - "G", Graylo and BabyGray being the main ones.  And "Pig-pen".  But that's a whole different story, for a different day...


Graysen is full of faith.  She has a faith that shines bright and reaches out.

Graysen has been very involved in YoungLife during high school.  Her campaigner group met at our house every Wednesday night for four years.  Along with many sleepovers, pool parties, and parent meetings.  She had two incredible leaders, Sara Stokes and Lindsay Mizell, who poured out Christ's love on any girl who ventured into our basement and found a safe place with a special group of young ladies.

Graysen hopes to return all that she has gained by becoming a YoungLife leader herself while in Nashville.

Graysen took it seriously.  She studied.  She memorized scripture.  She learned. She prayed.  She journaled.  She invited.  She reached out.  She shared her heart and her life.  She matured.

Her faith grew tremendously.  She developed deep, meaningful and lifelong friendships.  She loves missions and has been on several mission trips.  She fell in love with Christ again and again. And, unbeknownst to her, God prepared her for this summer.  And for much more.


She's ready.


Graysen is a hard-worker.  She spent hours upon hours studying, writing, and preparing during high school.  Her hard work paid off and she did very well.  She attended a great school and got an incredible education.  She was accepted into the Honors College at Lipscomb and she has big goals and ambitions.  Graysen wants to follow in her Daddy's footsteps and become an oral-surgeon.  She loves to sit with her daddy and hear all about the interesting things he does.  And she's not grossed out like me!  It's a long and difficult road, but I have no doubt that she is totally capable and will be awesome.

She's ready.


Graysen is fun and gifted.  Mostly because she's happy and positive. She's pleasant and she's good company.  She's silly and goofy, and makes crazy faces!  She appears footloose and fancy-free.  She's helpful and thoughtful.  She's tender-hearted, getting her feelings hurt easily.  But, also, sensitive to the feelings of those she cares about.  She loves to bake and makes a birthday cake for all of her friends on their special day.  She's a ton of fun during family games and she is absolutely hilarious when we get the karaoke machine out!  She can sing for real, and it's one of those things I just can't help bragging about.  I love to hear her sing and I think she's so talented!  She calls me a pageant mom and makes me be quiet - ugh.  Her friend, Nathan, comes over and he plays the piano and they sing together.  It's definitely on the list of my favorite things.

You know what else?  She spends time with me.  We do a lot together and we have so much fun.  She invites me for almost everything she does.  She is not one of those teenagers who never wants her mom around, and, believe me, that is not lost on me.  I cherish it.  I cherish who she is.  Last year she said something so sweet to me.  She said, "Momma, when I go to Nashville you can just get an apartment down there and you can come down there every other weekend and I'll come home every other weekend.  That way we don't have to be apart very often!".  Can you believe that?!  Precious.

Well, I smiled and told her how sweet that was for her to say, but that she was not going to want me there that often.  Trust me.

And it's not just me.  She's a family girl.  She loves spending time with her daddy, her "sissy" and her "little man" as she calls Colton.  She goes to as many of his sporting events and school activities as she can.  She goes with me to visit Peyton at Lee.  She even goes to work with her dad, when there's an opportunity, and loves to see pictures and discuss cases from work.  She loves her grandparents and aunts and uncles.  She loves, loves, loves her cousins!

She's a bright light in our family.



The definition of the word Grace is:  an undeserved gift from God.

I wanted her name to mean grace.  Tim and I talked about it for months and came up with our own form of the name.   Most people wouldn't realize the connection, but grace was the foundation for naming our second daughter.  And undeserved gift from God.

And she is.



When Graysen applied for the Honors College at Lipscomb she had to write an essay.  She chose to write about her scoliosis.  There's nobody who can tell her story better than Graysen, herself.  I would like to share her essay with you.

I have a crooked back.  My spine has a 45-degree thoracic-lumbar curve, to be exact.  Although my scoliosis does not define me, it has played a huge role in molding me into the person I am today.  Usually when I tell people about my scoliosis they ask me a series of questions that I have heard just about a billion times: “1. Does it hurt? 2. Can it be fixed? 3. Will you be able to cheer?”

First, yes it does hurt.  My back hurts every day of my life.  Normal activities for someone with a straight spine are not always so normal for someone with a crooked one.  I limit how often I wear high heels (which I love) because one day in cute shoes will result in a week of intense back pain for me.  I rarely stay the night at friend’s house because sleeping on a couch does not always go so well for a crooked spine.  Sometimes I have to finish the singing portion of Sunday morning church service in my seat because I can only stand for a short period of time without sharp pain shooting from my pesky curve.  I hate that I have limitations and always have to think through my decisions based on how it will affect my back.  I hate that it hurts.  Honestly, I usually deny that I am in pain because I hate the pitied looks I receive when I confess that I am hurting. However, there is good news— and a response to the second question—my vexing 45-degree lumbar curve can, and will, be fixed. 

There is an operation called spinal fusion and reconstructive surgery that fixes warped spines like mine.  The surgery takes many hours and uses a system of rods and screws in order to straighten the spine.  Sounds fun, right?  It is an intense procedure with a long list of risks and post-op restrictions.  In total, I will spend a year recovering.  After the first year I will be “released” to be a normal 18 year-old again, but my surgeon says that I will have some life-long restrictions in order to preserve my new spine. One of these limitations is that I will never cheer again.  This little detail answers question three.

“Can you cheer?” may seem like an odd question to you, but if you knew me personally, you would know that cheerleading has enormously impacted my life.  Being a varsity cheerleader throughout high school meant more to me than pom-poms and pep rallies.  I loved cheerleading dearly because it gave me a leadership role and voice to make an impact.  After I made the Maryville High School cheerleading squad my freshman year, I remember thinking that I did not want to be the stereotypical cheerleader who acted like she came straight out of Mean Girls and  dated the quarterback—I wanted to be different.  I wanted to show that I could be a cheerleader while being a good student and a Christian role model in my school.  Cheerleading became my mission field and my opportunity to lead others to Christ.   A few weeks ago, I had an adorable little girl tell me that she was trying out for her intermediate school cheer squad because she wanted to be like me, “a smart, Christian, cheerleader.”  This is exactly the image that I had always hoped to portray.  Because cheerleading was so important to me throughout high school, I always dreamed that I would continue to cheer in college.  However, the news that my back simply could not handle it twisted my plans.

My curved back has taught me some pretty big lessons; my back showed me that sometimes life hurts (a lot) and knocks you down over and over again, but you have to get back up and keep going.  Even though my back hurts, I will not let it keep me from doing the things that I love.  I still wear high heels and spend the night with friends; I refuse to let my crooked spine dictate my life.  However, my back has also taught me that God always has a better plan for me than I have for myself.  I planned to cheer throughout college; since my new back will not allow me to cheer, I have been looking into all of the other campus activities that I will still have the chance to dive into at Lipscomb next fall.  I hope to join a social club and go through Quest to become a Young Life leader.  My back has taught me that I believe in a mighty, mighty God who knows me better than I know myself—a God who knows all my brokenness, and loves me still. “For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).  This verse embodies the greatest lesson that I have learned in the last year.  I am so grateful to believe in the God that makes crooked spines, and also has plans for the girl with the crooked, painful, imperfect, blessed, hopeful, beautiful spine. 

                                                                                    Graysen McConnell

That's my girl.

For a good chuckle go to this link!
http://youtu.be/-XK5eim1evI



"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose".      Romans 8:28